There has been a question pushing at me lately and everything finally fell into place this morning as I was driving into work.  Why is it that, while I am completely and unequivocally committed to living responsibly with as much awareness and practice of environmental and financial sustainability, so much of the rhetoric, most of arguments and discussions I hear and read leave me cold?  Rather than feel energized and inspired, much of what is said either bores me almost to distraction or leaves me feeling oddly dissatisfied and noncommital.  Then I realized anew what seems to be a significant majority of attention and discussion is somewhat negative and the arguments for change are based either on fear or thinly disguised and questionably sensible consumerism.  "If we don't do this, a terrible ... will happen."  "If we don't this or that, something awful will..."  Fill in the blanks.  We all are aware, bombarded as we are. 

There is enough to consider to make many blog posts.  The frequently irresponsible consumerism in our Western society, also infecting much of the rest of the world, is a subject I will leave for another time.  I work in a financially focused business where I see daily, even hourly some days now, the terrible effects of ill-considered, unwise financial decisions.  For now I shall stick to the thoughts about the overarching and often subtle attitudes influencing use of resources and the effects on environment and lifestyle.

My partner is dedicated to working towards more sustainable lifestyle and in building community around that goal.  He is an activist.  I am just as committed but something about so much of what he reads and shares with me, about what I find for myself and hear around me troubles me....or bores me.  Perhaps part of my reaction comes from the fact I know enough science to understand the environmental issues, enough about relationship and living as a human being to understand the needs and desires we hold in common.  Consequently, after a while, enough is enough.  I do not need daily sermons or arguments to convince me further.  I got it already.  So, my next thought is to get moving and stop talking so much.

However, that is only the first and easiest reaction.  Why my heart and mind have not been captured by all the talk and words has made me think hard about why.  Then, this morning, the light came on.  Highly intelligent, deep thinking people have been and will continue to discourse.  Yet, so much of what they have to say comes from a deep fear of what can happen if we do not "get it" soon.  I absolutely do not discount the seriousness of the environmental and lifestyle sustainability issues.  These are critical times demanding critical thinking and responsible, sensible choices and change.  Nothing, though, will benefit by acting from a place of fear.  My own attitude will make all the difference in how successful any effort I make might be.  Acting from a place of fear often sends the message of "I have to do this or that or something so terrible will happen."  This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy out of the negative energy fear creates.

As a response to my perceptions of the fear I offer a beautiful, profound essay by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.  I cannot say it any better.

You Were Made For This
by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.

You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement.

I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able vessels in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind. Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.

In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency, too, to fall into being weakened by dwelling on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails. We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn't you say you were a believer? Didn't you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn't you ask for grace? Don't you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater?

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these-to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.

There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate. The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours. They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.

I posted this in response to another comment but chose to move it to stand on its own.

As with many others, my childhood religious influences were conservative, my parents, extended family and most associates all Christian.  However, my curiosity and dissatisfaction with what I heard from all of them led me to read anything and everything I could find.  Now, with time, I realize how the vast majority of people take literally the cultural myths and metaphors giving birth to the many and varied religious traditions.  Are they lies or are these stories from people simply not mentally matured beyond the place where everything is literal and nothing is symbolic?

I believe it is the process of a maturing mind and spirit to come to the realization that religious traditions grow from the need of a particular people at a particular time to connect with that which is greater, that power and source not understood.  Stories will arise to try to explain what appears mysterious.  As in the case of the Abrahamic religious traditions, tribal legends and stories, along with cultural influences of place and time became woven into the fabric of the religious traditions.  Lies?  Perhaps.  Symbolic and metaphorical?  Definitely.

It is up to each of us to sort out what makes sense for each of us, to explore and to discover until we have enough knowledge and understanding to put something together that works for each of us individually.  All I can do is thank my parents and grandparents for empowering me to use my mind, to think for myself, apart from and regardless of their own religious belief.  They got more than they bargained for.  :-)

For all of us women

Several years ago, in the very early spring, my friend Geoff and I took a walk in the high desert near the Clark Mountains of southern California. Geoff is a paleoarcheoligist, among other things, and had studied the area many times as part of various scientific projects. One of the first and most beautiful surprises we discovered was something he said was a rare find, even there, a bush in full, glorious deep purple-blue bloom. It was indigo. It was and is amazing. As we walked what would appear to most folks as barren desert land, talking and sharing our souls, I discovered something about the desert I have not forgotten. The desert is incredibly beautiful, filled with promise and subtle beauty. What seems stark and lifeless is teeming with often minute and hidden life, often awaiting only a small amount of light or moisture to reveal its promise. What stayed with me powerfully was the sight, seen only when walking and closely present, of a carpet of miniature fairy flowers, pale pink with burgundy edging and center. It was magic.

Winter is the hope-bringer to the desert. Without the occasional rains of winter, there are no magical flowers and amazing sights. There is animal life that can lie dormant for years until there is enough winter rain to bring it to life, disappearing once the heat of summer comes to lie dormant once more until enough winter rain comes again. Yet, even in the driest, harshest desert there is a miracle of small beauty in unexpected places.

It has been a cold, quiet winter so far. Here where the foothills become the High Sierras in northern California, winter is beginning to edge back and loosen its grip. This time of silence and introspection slowly will give way to new life, new hope, new beauty. The iris will start to grow up from the fallow ground, the buds on the fruit trees will begin to swell, promising a bountiful harvest of plums in a few months.

I have been quiet and fallow the last few months. It has been winter in my spirit, still and stark. This has not troubled or concerned me. Over the years I have discovered the hidden beauty of still times when life goes deep with nothing appearing to be growing and blooming. One need not bloom all the time. There are times we must be in the darkness where it is quiet, where our spirits may rest and renew until the winter rains warm into spring showers and encourage new flowering, new sharing. That time is coming. This time is good.

Books and music, music and books.  Writing, making music - making music, writing.  I haven't changed much in all these years.  :-)

 

We wait

and wonder in the waiting.

Is this the time, the place?

Are these the ones who also wait

and wonder if I am the one

for this time and in this place?

We wait

and watch the sun rise each morning,

tracking across the sky till night

and wonder in the waiting.

Will this day be the one

when I hear the clarion call

across the mountains,

the call asking me to come out

and be the one?

We wait

through the dark and quiet night,

waiting for the trackless path

no longer to be hidden from our eyes.

We wait.

Perhaps our best, most precious gift

is the silent, patient waiting

when the darkness seems never

to end or even to become less dark.

Perhaps the time and place we wait

is where we are meant to be,

sharing time and place with those

who also wait.